LIFE

The 13 Worst Wedding Speeches That Anyone Has Literally Ever Given

by Phil Mutz
Phil is an Editor at LittleThings. He loves writing and the outdoors. You can often find him at the movies or the park.

Wedding speeches are a chance for loved ones of the bride and groom to share a beautiful memory, maybe tell a funny story, and wish the happy new pair well.

However, some best men, bridesmaids, and parents of the couple seem to have misunderstood the assignment.

I’ve sat through boring wedding toasts and even some slightly awkward ones. But I’ve luckily never seen a speech quite like these. From announcing that the bride is pregnant to spending the entire time talking about their own failed marriage, these speeches are the absolute worst.

Fortunately for us, we can read them and have a good laugh. But for those who had to sit through these cringe-worthy toasts, the situation was anything but funny.

Scroll through for a look at these horrific wedding speeches. Do you think you have a toast story that could make the list? Let us know in the comments and don’t forget to SHARE!

[H/T: Reddit, The Knot]

#1

#1

“At my cousin’s wedding, one of the groom’s best friends gave a short speech that was honestly quite touching, until he stumbled over his words, and said, ‘Well, if these two can get married, uh, anyone can.'” — Anonymous

#2

#2

“After stumbling his way through he awkwardly finishes with ‘Sorry man, I’ll do better at your next one.’ The bride’s father pulled him aside and tore him a new one right afterwards.” — thesarcasmic

#3

#3

“I was once at a wedding where the father of the groom gave a toast… He said, ‘I didn’t like Jenna [the bride] when I first met her.’ I thought this was going to be the opening to a funny or sweet speech. Nope. He just walked away.” — Himekat

#4

#4

“The groom’s little sister got up, acting drunk, definitely pregnant, and declared: ‘I always thought you were gay. But seriously. [laughter]. No. I really did. Congrats. I love you.’ She didn’t have anything to follow that up.” — trollocs_and_daleks

#5

#5

“At my brother’s wedding his best man said, ‘I was hoping you all would be drunk by now so that you would forget that I don’t have anything prepared… Well congrats, guys.’ They had him toast before any alcohol arrived.” — winer

#6

#6

“I don’t even know why you made me your best man. I know I’m your brother but we don’t even get along and [your wife] hates me.” — Bragaul

#7

#7

“The best man at a wedding I was in said during his toast, ‘Congratulations to the new parents!’ No one except a select few knew the bride was pregnant — not even her parents!” — TheKnot.com

#8

#8

“Wasted mother of the bride stands on the podium and states ‘You’re a nice boy but if you ever hurt my daughter I’ll kill you.’ She was then escorted to a car and taken away for the rest of the service.” — Northern-Canadian

#9

#9

“Some witless nincompoop stumbles through a mindless ramble: ‘I’d just like to say that, uh, Mike and Wendy, you’re the best. I, uh, think that love is like…it’s like really special. It’s a really special kind of love, uh, you can have. And Mike and Wendy, you two were like meant for each other and to be in love because love is so important. And special. And stuff.'” — CitizenTed

#10

#10

Father of the Bride described her as the ‘ugly duckling’ of the family. He got booed.” — Maihashi

#11

#11

“My dad is a really funny and loving man, but he is not a good public speaker. When my younger sister got married a few years ago he gave this rambling speech about how she was a ‘plane that just taxied on the runway forever and you wondered if it would ever take off.’ He was trying to say she was a late bloomer I think…” — PsychTest

#12

#12

He said nothing about the bride at all, only mentioned that my brother was a ‘good guy’ and then proceeded to talk about his failed marriage (his ex-wife was in attendance), his child custody battle, and how much it pained him to see how happy the newlyweds looked since it brought back memories of his own failed marriage.” — alanaldasweater

#13

#13

“A friend of mine from college got married, and his best man said in his speech: ‘Finally John has found someone with low enough self-esteem to marry him.'” — TheKnot.com

Have you ever witnessed a toast that could rival one of these? Let us know in the comments and don’t forget to SHARE with everyone who enjoys a good (or not-so-good) wedding speech!