Selling your home is often an experience that is stressful. There’s so much to think about and consider, so many changes and upgrades you have to make, and so many hoops to jump through to attract buyers in the first place.
One woman recently shared on Reddit that she and her husband are in the process of selling their home, but they’ve hit a wall.
At first, they had a great offer on the table: A couple who was ready to pay a full cash offer for the home. That’s the dream! But the more the woman found out about the couple, the less sure she became.
“My husband and I are selling our house, and we were touring a woman and her husband who are getting ready to start a family,” she began.
“They offered a full cash offer, and it was right at what we were selling the house for, however, they were talking about making so many renovations. For example, the wife looked in the kitchen and said ‘I wish there was an island in here, but we can figure that out’, there are 2 smaller bedrooms in the home right next to each other and she talked about knocking the wall down to make one big room.”
Her reaction is certainly a little surprising; after all, when you sell your home, you lose the right to have any claim over what the buyer does or doesn’t do with the place. If it really matters to you that renovations aren’t made, you probably aren’t ready to be selling your home in the first place.
The woman explained that she was particularly upset about the family making changes because this is the home she grew up in:
“The whole time I just felt upset because this was the home my parents built and my kids grew up in and I made sure to never make significant changes because I did not want to destroy their hard work. When they were leaving I said we’ll keep in touch. I called the couple later that night and told them we’ll be moving on to a different buyer.”
The woman said she told her husband why she didn’t want the couple to have the house, but he didn’t agree with her. At all.
“I told my husband that I’m not interested in them purchasing our home. He thought I was joking until I explained my reasoning. He said I was too attached to this house, and that If I was going to have so many specifications on the buyer then he’s going to choose himself.”
Her husband even tried to work it out with the couple, but they had already moved on.
“He called the couple back today and they said they found a new house but to thank the both of us. He was livid. He started going off about how it’s taken so long for us to find someone to actually pay the full price, especially with a full cash offer, but now we’re either going to have to settle or wait forever to get a buyer like that.”
The woman turned to Reddit for guidance: Did she mess up here? Unfortunately for her, the answer is a resounding yes, and she ended up getting a lot of tough love.
“That was a really stupid thing to do, especially without consulting your husband first,” said one commenter.
“Just because you sell the house doesn’t mean you lose the memories in it. Also, once it’s sold you will never be going back so you won’t ever see what they do.
“Whoever buys it will likely still renovate, so turning down a full cash offer at asking is INCREDIBLY dumb.”
Another person pointed out that once you sell, that’s it. You’re giving up your right to control what happens:
“But when you make the choice to sell (or donate, in my case), the house is theirs, and you can’t make sentimental choices after the fact. If you wanted to rent, sure you can have stipulations, but here your knee-jerk reaction was only that, and you’re not going to find a buyer who will accept not changing anything. You tried to control too much.”
Another person pointed out that getting the full asking price is about more than just making money — it offers a lot of security:
“Can you still afford your new home if the next highest offer is 20% below your asking price? Is a family member’s medical bill, a child’s college payment or a loan repayment dependant on the amount you sell your house?”
A third person suggested that the couple get an agent, so they aren’t the ones doing the tours:
“When we sold our houses, we were never there when someone toured…partly for this exact reason. And if this is a really old house that’s never been renovated, everyone’s going to make changes, probably significant. Just because they don’t say it doesn’t mean they aren’t making plans as they walk through.”
Lots of people could relate to the sentimental feelings the woman had about her house, but at the end of the day … she’s selling:
“I still get dreams of my childhood house, though it has been demolished and rebuilt thrice,” said another commenter. “My parents had sold it when I was 18 to get a bigger better one. But as many psychologists will tell you, a childhood home has subconscious level memories and is seen as a comfort zone. I can understand how you feel about letting go, but you’ll have to eventually.”
The commenter continued with their own version of a very similar story:
“What you’ve done is exactly what one of my aunt did. She had a beautiful house with a lovely garden, a bungalow worth a few million in the middle of a metro city. She got married there, her kids and grandkids grew there. She didn’t want to give it to someone who will demolish or make changes. So she rejected sooo many offers. It was a multi-generational house so there was a rift between the family for her behaviour too.
“Finally, someone they knew made an offer and told them it’ll be kept the way she wants. So they took the slightly lower price and signed it over. Within a month there was demolition process. The new owners own the place, and they have full legal rights to do whatever they want.”
While the woman never updated her post about whether or not she’s changed her attitude about selling the house, hopefully, she did read through the comments a bit first. It’s completely understandable that she loves the home she raised her children in, but if ever there’s a time to let a home go, it’s when you’re literally trying to get rid of it.