A Group Of Guys Have An Honest, Thought-Provoking Discussion On Masculinity

by Jamie Brickhouse
Jamie Brickhouse is the author of Dangerous When Wet: A Memoir of Booze, Sex and My Mother. Visit his website at

Norman Mailer once said, “Masculinity is not something given to you, but something you gain. And you gain it by winning small battles with honor.” The real guys in this video from SoulPancake talk openly and honestly about what masculinity supposedly is and is not and how they are defining for themselves what being a man really is.

Whether they grew up in a tough New York neighborhood, in a sports-centric boys school, or the son of a military officer, they were ingrained with the notions that masculinity meant strength, silence, toughness, emotional withholding, violence, and aggression. And if guys show fear, shame, sadness or grief, they’re perceived as weak, emasculated. But the guys in this video challenge societal normals and are proving that Mailer was right.

One former marine says he no longer adheres to these outdated definitions of what makes a man.

He feels that his role as a father who takes care of his daughter has made him more masculine than being a Marine ever did. Wow. Another guy declares that his experience of vulnerable emotions has brought him to self-acceptance: “That’s the man that I am.” What’s your definition of masculinity?

What makes you a man? SHARE this video on Facebook and continue the conversation!

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