Social media is, without a doubt, here to stay. Even though sites like Facebook have been criticized in the news, people still use it as a way to connect with others.
Some people have even built their career on hosting a popular page. YouTube and Instagram are two other big platforms that have helped young entertainers start their businesses.
That said, everyone uses the sites differently. Some people share baby photos; others use their accounts to comment on news pieces. But unless you’ve got a joint account, whatever you post is directly affiliated with your name. And that’s why social media is so personal.
On Reddit, a 20-year-old with the username of helphelepeple didn’t seem to get that memo.
He posted a story about his girlfriend’s social media account. Let’s just say the overwhelming response was that yes — he was the a**hole.
“My (20M) girlfriend (20F) had started a facebook page about a year ago,” he wrote. “She posts her own memes, random texts and art on it. It was initially not a problem and I was proud of her, even supported her by liking, commenting and sharing her posts to my page that was bigger at the time.” That last part of the sentence is key in figuring out what went wrong.
“Recently her page gained a lot of attention and eventually surpassed my page’s following,” he wrote. “She started posting a lot more and she has been interacting with her audience 24/7. Since then she has stopped paying attention to me and will always be on her phone.”
He stated that his girlfriend would only respond to him in small texts, like “haha nice” or “okay.” It makes sense that he’d feel a little left out — technology addiction is a real thing. “We still go on dates (weekly) that she usually plans, but she will still take up her phone every 1.5h or so,” he stated.
“Last weekend she brought cookies for me & my family and she planned on staying the entire weekend,” he said. “During this weekend she kept picking up her phone and going to her page. At one point she went to talk to my parents and left her phone in my room and I saw the opportunity.”
You guessed it — he got rid of her account. “I went to her FB and deleted the page & her profile so she can’t recover the page,” he admitted. Not only did he go on her phone and get rid of something she was proud of, but he took that extra step to make sure she could never access it again.
He failed to mention if he ever communicated his distaste of the page before, which is key. Talking about how he feels like he has to compete for attention against the page would have been a healthy step forward. But instead, he went extreme.
“She was PISSED when she noticed what I had done,” he said. “I tried explaining that I was freeing her from social media obsession, but she didn’t understand. She took her stuff and went home and hasn’t talked to me since then.”
It definitely seems as if she didn’t know when to put her phone down. But without a doubt, you can tell that he was jealous. The second her page got bigger than his, he felt threatened by the attention she was getting. And Reddit users didn’t give him the support he likely expected.
After one Redditor went so far as to say, “It sneaky and jealous so you deserve loneliness,” he asked how it was rooted in jealousy. Obviously, he didn’t notice that part while telling the story. “I understand it’s sneaky, but how is it jealous??” he said. “I wanted to help her.”
“You should’ve spoken to her like an adult, and an equal to express your concerns and resolve the situation,” responded a Redditor named schmoigel. “You did not have the right to delete her personal page because you didn’t think she should have it. That’s the equivalent of her destroying your gaming console because she thinks you spend too much time on it. She’d have no right to destroy your property, and you had no right to destroy hers.”
Another Redditor stated that while he claimed he wanted to help his girlfriend, she never asked for help. Instead, he just took matters into his own hands. If she acknowledged that she was too obsessed with her page, the two of them could have worked on a game plan together that’d help out their relationship.
And of course, Redditors told him that he was obviously jealous. Including the popularity of the pages was a big hint. He mentioned that he was supportive of her up until her page got more popular than his. It’s almost as if he didn’t want to see her succeed.
User 9mackenzie insinuated that this was likely the end of his relationship: “You didn’t want to help her. Stop saying that. You were jealous that she was paying attention to something that wasn’t you, so you destroyed something that was important to her as punishment. You need therapy before you ever enter another relationship (as this one is over btw).”
Other Redditors tried to take a gentler, yet still informative approach. “Your girlfriend may be experiencing a social media addiction, but this is not the correct way to handle it,” said OCaraDeTigre. “Your actions were childish and immature… Next time, try to talk to her in an adult and calm way and if you are really worried about it, maybe even talk to some of her family members to try and help her.”
While he seemed quite defensive, hopefully others who are new to relationships will learn something from his story. His girlfriend lost a lot based on him — and might not get over it. While they may have had to work on their relationship to both feel satisfied, he had no right to openly take something from her the way he did.