FAMILY & PARENTING

After 10 Years Of Marriage, I’m Single But I’m Still Making Sure My Valentine’s Day Is Special

by Sarah Bregel
Sarah Bregel is an editor at LittleThings.com covering entertainment, trending stories, adorable stuff, parenting, and more. She is also a freelance writer, mom of two, dog mom, feminist, and deep-breather.

Valentine’s Day is all about love, and the truth is, this year, I really wanted to celebrate with someone.

After about a decade of marriage, I’m single once again. While I’ve had relationships over the past year and a half of my life after marriage, I’m finding that it looks like I’m going to be single on Valentine’s Day.

It would totally be easy to feel sorry for myself. I’m not about to say I haven’t done that. After all, I had high hopes that this would be my year. I imagined going out to a fancy dinner, maybe someone buying me flowers. Basically, I fantasized about all of the things I haven’t gotten to experience in my recent, and not so recent, history.

I wanted it all and I had been planning it in my head.

It seems silly now. Maybe I should’ve kept my expectations low because whenever you plan for silly Hallmark holidays like Valentine’s Day, something seems to go wrong just in time. It’s the worst kind of jinx. I’ve had to adjust and readjust my expectations. But in the process, I decided that I can still enjoy my Valentine’s Day, no matter what. I don’t have to sit around and sulk because I don’t have romantic love in my life. I can embrace self-love and that’s exactly what I’m planning to do.

Here’s what I’m planning to do for myself to make sure I feel special even if I’m single on Valentine’s Day.

I'm Getting a Long Overdue Pedicure

It’s such a small thing, but I don’t take a lot of time to do things like getting manicures and pedicures. After a long winter, my feet could totally use some love, so I’m planning to treat myself. It’s just a small way to give myself some pampering — the kind of gift I might receive from a partner who urges me to do something nice for myself. The truth is, I don’t need anyone to inspire me to take care of myself these days.

I'm Buying Flowers

Having flowers around my house just makes my home look and feel a little bit nicer. I love having flowers and even if I have to buy them for myself — it doesn’t make them any less valuable. I don’t make a habit of buying flowers often because they are pricey, but for Valentine’s Day, I’m definitely planning to shell out a few bucks for a bouquet.

I'm Going To a Yoga Class

I love going to yoga but typically, I save the cash and roll out my mat at home. On Valentine’s Day, I’m going to treat myself to a class. It always ensures a more challenging workout when you’re surrounded by others and following along with a teacher’s instruction. Plus, it will help to put me in a better headspace to really embrace the day.

I'm Going To Be Gentle With Myself

While I have the best of intentions, the truth is, I may have moments of feeling blue. I’m going to try my best to simply be gentle with myself. I have to remind myself that it’s OK to feel my feelings and that I even if I don’t plan on sulking, I don’t have to smile all day long either.

I'm Making Plans With Friends

So I can stay (mostly) positive and have a good night, I made plans with some friends. There are plenty of people, especially couples who have been together for a long time who don’t care about celebrating Valentine’s Day anymore. So, there’s definitely people to hang out with and take my mind off of not having a real “Valentine.”

I'm Going To Eat Delicious Food

No, it doesn’t quite replace romantic love. But one thing is for sure, a good meal can be enjoyed just about anytime. I’m going to grab some great food with friends because I definitely don’t need a date for that.

I'm Not Going To Text My Ex

Being nearly 35, you’d think I’d be above things like texting my ex. But honestly, dating doesn’t get easier just because you get older. I fall into the same old traps I did when I was younger, I’m realizing. Emotions run high on Valentine’s Day or any holiday for that matter. But no matter what I do, I refuse to text my most recent ex. I know that it will only make me feel worse in the end or prolong a relationship that wasn’t working. That is my solemn vow.

I'll Remind Myself That It's Just a Regular Day

Valentine’s Day can totally bring about unpleasant emotions when you’re single. But much of that is because of the pressure we put on it to be great. I may have to remind myself over and over again this year, but I’m definitely going to tell myself that it’s just a regular day like any other.

And It Will Come Again

Yes, it stings a little bit this year. I wanted this day to look different than it’s going to look. The fact of the matter is, though, that there’s really no reason to get hung up on it. This day will come again next year and the year after that. So, instead of worrying about what I don’t have in my life this year, I’m going to focus on all that I do have.

At the same time, I’m going to remember that next year may look completely different. Perhaps by then I’ll have a partner in my life. And if I don’t, that’s OK, too. More than that, I hope I’m in a good place. I’m hope I’m happy and that I’ve learned a few things, whether I’m with someone or not.