LIFE

America’s Pumpkin Spice Obsession Is INSANE…These Products Prove It.

by Nicole Piering

Ah autumn, it’s that time of the year where pumpkin everything runs rampant.

Some say that the Pumpkin Spice craze started with a well-planned coffee drink from Starbucks. Others suggest it goes as far back as pumpkin pie. In recent years, America’s obsession with all-things pumpkin has taken on a life of its own. From invading our coffee to our Oreos to our beer, our P.S.L. obsession has truly gotten out of control.

We’ve found 20 of the most bizarre and unnecessary pumpkin items out there today.

Please SHARE if you can’t believe these products exist…or if you’re one of the pumpkin-zombies who’d love to try them! (Get help.)

Nothing says Sunday dinner like Penne a la Pumpkin.

pumpkin-pasta-sauce

Pumpkin vodka, perfect for an autumnal cocktail.

Pumpkin vodka, perfect for an autumnal cocktail.

Perfect for Pumpkin-flavored heart palpitations.

pumpkin-spice-four-loko

Why stop at Four Lokos? This is ideal for the type of person who plays Christmas music BEFORE Thanksgiving.

pumpkin-spice-egg-nog

After you ralph from your pumpkin vodka and four lokos, cover the smell with even MORE PUMPKIN.

After you ralph from your pumpkin vodka and four lokos, cover the smell with even MORE PUMPKIN.

For those who want to smell like a pumpkin patch.

For those who want to smell like a pumpkin patch.

Pups need pumpkin too.

Pups need pumpkin too.

Even the M&M on the bag is sad about this decision.

Even the M&M on the bag is sad about this decision.

Adding pumpkin to candy corn is the only thing that could make them more autumnal.

Adding pumpkin to candy corn is the only thing that could make them more autumnal.

Just when we thought greek yogurt couldn't be any less appealing...

Just when we thought greek yogurt couldn't be any less appealing...

When the Whopper won't cut it, this pumpkin burger is available at Burger King Japan.

When the Whopper won't cut it, this pumpkin burger is available at Burger King Japan.

Freshen your breath, the pumpkin way. (This gum seems Extra silly.)

Freshen your breath, the pumpkin way. (This gum seems Extra silly.)

Do they make pumpkin pita, too?

Do they make pumpkin pita, too?

What part of the cow does this jerky come from?

What part of the cow does this jerky come from?

How long until they offer these in Double-Stuf?

How long until they offer these in Double-Stuf?

Build those muscles with some pumpkin protein.

Build those muscles with some pumpkin protein.

Because nothing says clean hair like orange pumpkin goop.

Because nothing says clean hair like orange pumpkin goop.

Perfect for those pumpkin spice bagels.

Perfect for those pumpkin spice bagels.

Smooth your skin with this gourdy body butter.

Smooth your skin with this gourdy body butter.

I highly doubt that "Once you pop, you can't stop" applies. In fact, I want to stop. Let's stop with the pumpkin spice madness.

I highly doubt that "Once you pop, you can't stop" applies. In fact, I want to stop. Let's stop with the pumpkin spice madness.