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An Open Letter To My Children On Mother’s Day

unnamed-2 by Jenna Stewart
Jenna lives in Vermont and is behind the blog Motherhoodwithatwistofocd.com.

Dear Little Humans:

Bless your hearts and adorable, kissable, cheeks. I love you more than words can ever say. While I knew love before you, the love I have for you now makes my heart feel like it is going to explode, not just on Mother’s Day, but on a daily basis.

There are things that you do and say that have forever changed me as a person.

These things are small and forgettable to some, but to me, they are what make me whole. They give me life and purpose, and on days when you smack me in the face with your toy golf club, make me laugh.

They are the things that keep me going.

In no particular order, here are a few reasons I am forever grateful to have you in my life.

When you grab my hand as we walk and look up and smile.

Woman holding daughter's (3-5) hand in park, girl smiling up at mother
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My heart wants to burst into a million pieces and I just want to snuggle you until I can’t anymore.

I don’t though, you scare easy, and any sudden movements will send you off to look for the next big rock you see on the street.

I get it, rocks are cool, but just know that momma loves to have your little grubby hand in hers.

The way you back your butt into my lap with your favorite book.

The way you back your butt into my lap with your favorite book.
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There is no sweeter thing, though if I have to read, “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” one more time, I might lose my sanity and a little bit of my soul.

When you ask me to lay with you at bedtime.

When you ask me to lay with you at bedtime.
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Even on the really long days, when all I want to do is sit in a dark room, alone, with a glass of pinot, I could never say no to your sweet, sweet voice.

I love the way you snuggle into me, sucking your thumb, and slowly (I mean really, really slowly) fall asleep.

These are the moments I live for, the simple pleasures, when I can stare at you in the dark and breathe you in. You are mine, mine to me, and I will always be there for you no matter what.

The pitter-patter of your little feet in the hallway as you run to our room.

The pitter-patter of your little feet in the hallway as you run to our room.
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There are nights when I am so ready for you to go to bed — your momma needs a break too — but not once have I felt anything but pure joy when I hear you running to our room in the morning.

That being said, waking up to you inches away from my face at 2 a.m., telling me that there is a lizard in your bed, I could do without.

The way you laugh when you “toot.”

Cheerful mother with her daughter outdoor.
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I’ve never once thought that gas was funny, until I had children.

The way your little faces light up when you toot and burst into hysterical giggles is quite irresistible.

That’s right, your bodily functions are adorable at times! How could I not laugh alongside you, while silently praying that these adorable toots are not the sign of something much more disgusting to come.

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The truth is, motherhood is messy. It is hard, and sometimes, like the time I gave birth to you with absolutely no pain medication, painful.

There are days when I want to stay in bed until noon and watch Netflix in my jammies, but who doesn’t have those kind of days?

I am not perfect, far from it actually, but I will keep trying to be the best mom I can be. And, no matter what, I will continue to shower you with love and kisses.

I am so proud to be your mother. I don’t need any gifts this Mother’s Day, all I need is you. Oh and coffee, and wine.

Cheers to all you mommas out there. It is the hardest job, but the one with the most rewards. Enjoy every day with your little cherubs, because soon instead of asking for a snack, they’ll be asking you for a twenty and the keys to the car. That day will be here before any of us expect it and I for one am not ready for it.

For more from Jenna Stewart, visit Motherhood with a Twist of OCD and her Facebook page.