I don’t know when it happened, but at some point in life I became that mom. I don’t mean the perfect Instagram mom whose kids are always dressed and smiling perfectly.
Or the mom with perfect hair, makeup, and clothes who can seemingly do it all, or even the Pinterest mom. (Why is the Pinterest mom so talented, anyway?) Despite my highly curated social media feed, I’m not that mom at all. Rather, I’m the mom that the internet sanctimommies talk about. I’m the one who I read about while saying to myself that I’ll never be that way. I’m the mom the internet hates. I’m that mom.
1. I’m the mom who can’t get out of bed in the morning, the one who hits snooze way too many times and ends up late every single day.
2. (As a result) I’m the mom who rushes her kid to get ready faster every day because they’re already late and never had a chance.
3. I’m the mom who has zero patience for anything or anyone before 9 a.m., especially tiny humans.
4. I’m the mom who has sent her kid to school with an Eggo waffle and a squeezable fruit pouch for breakfast because her own lateness made her kid miss school breakfast again.
5. I’m the mom who loses her patience and yells.
6. I’m the mom who works too much and sometimes doesn’t see her kids at all on any given weekday.
7. I’m the mom who spends too much time on her phone.
8. I’m the mom who prefers to watch her kids play rather than play with them.
9. I’m the mom who forgets to brush her 2-year-old’s teeth.
10. I’m the mom who believes in disciplining her children rather than “refocusing” them.
11. I’m the mom who doesn’t even know how to spell DIY, much less attempt any kid craft from Pinterest.
12. I’m the mom who spends her time cleaning up messes instead of helping her kids make them.
13. (Speaking of which) I’m the mom whose house is clean/organized pretty much all the time.
14. I’m the mom who folds and puts away laundry on the same day. (I’m the mom who can fold a fitted sheet.)
15. I’m the mom who hasn’t cooked in years and has forgotten how.
16. I’m the mom who likes the idea of and all-organic diet but takes her kids to McDonald’s and Chick-fil-A for dinner when Daddy isn’t home.
17. I’m the mom who buys Goldfish instead of Cheddar Bunnies.
18. I’m the mom who lets her kids watch TV all day if they want to.
19. I’m the mom who distracts her kids with YouTube videos while shoveling food in their mouths as the only way to get them to eat.
20. I’m the mom who forgets to text people back.
21. I’m the mom who is distracted.
22. I’m the mom who gets annoyed.
I’m the mom who just can’t deal sometimes. The one who wants to scream and abandon this life when things get particularly hard. The one who gets overwhelmed. The one who cries. The one whose dark eye circles get darker (and deeper) by the day. The one who is exhausted, even though her husband pulls most all of the weight at home. I’m the mom who isn’t proud of any of these things.
But, I’m also the mom who knows she’s imperfect — who knows she’s human. I’m the mom who can calm herself down before her temper gets worse. I’m the mom who explains things to her kids and teaches them hard lessons. The one who seems mean because she stands her ground; the one who won’t give in because she knows that it’s better in the long run. I’m the mom who shows her daughters with her own example that everyone has to say sorry sometimes, especially me. I’m the mom who will teach her children what it means to forgive, because I’ll need to ask for their forgiveness often.
I’m the mom who loves her kids fiercely, even on the worst days. The one who forgets things from time to time but stays up long past when everyone is asleep at night to make sure that things get done and her family has what they need. I’m the mom who laughs and cuddles and gives more kisses and says more I love you’s than one could ever count in a day. I’m the mom who sings “You Are My Sunshine” over and over at bedtime every night. I’m the mom who sits and stares lovingly with her hand over her heart, taking in the preciousness of the sweet moments while absolutely loving motherhood, despite its challenges and her own imperfections.
I’m the mom who’s thankful for this hard, beautiful life.
For more from Shannon Bennett visit WorkingMomMemoirs.com and Facebook.