celebrity

Mila Kunis’ Story About Her Honeymoon Is Straight Out Of A Horror Movie

by Malcolm Freberg

It’s impossible not to be jealous of Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis’ life. They’re both wildly successful movie stars worth millions of dollars, they’re happily married with two adorable children, and on top of it all they seem to be the most down-to-earth, hysterical people on the planet. You can’t honestly say you wouldn’t trade lives with them for a day; they’re just that perfect.

So to be brutally honest, we think it’s fair that the universe screwed up their honeymoon. Just kidding, of course!

Mila recently appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, and two things were immediately clear: First, the woman is a hilarious storyteller, and second, Ashton should never be allowed to plan vacations, because their group trip to Napa played out like comedy movie.

It’s hard to think of a way this could have gone any worse. Thankfully, you didn’t have to live through this nightmare — you just get to sit back and laugh at how miserable it all sounds!

Here's what the aftermath of this trip looked like:

Here's what the aftermath of this trip looked like:

OK, not really. But you can be sure that Ashton was wearing that exact sheepish expression as he apologized for this disaster!

According to Mila, this trip was never going to be a typical beaches-and-cocktails honeymoon. Their 10-month-old child was with them, along with Ashton’s parents.

And then there was an RV. Why two extremely wealthy A-listers decided to get an RV isn’t immediately clear — but they sure won’t be doing that again!

OK, here's what happened:

OK, here's what happened:

“Eight hours into our RV trip, and this continues, our air conditioner breaks in Bakersfield in 110 degree weather,” explained Mila. “We almost died on the side of the road when Apple Maps took us on a road… It wasn’t a road, it was a fire road on the side of a mountain.”

“We all had to jump out of the vehicle and walk for like, three miles while my father-in-law drove the van and Ashton navigated him over massive boulders because there had just been a massive flood. Guys, this was like, day two.”

And it gets way, way worse.

And it gets way, way worse.

Mila continued, “My wonderful, beautiful mother-in-law picked the RV parks that we were staying in, but she didn’t use the internet. She used, um, books. She’s like, ‘We’ll end in Napa, it’ll be beautiful,’ I was like, ‘You know what, what could go wrong?’ Lemme tell you. An RV park not in Napa, but an hour outside of Napa with two prisons, okay? Yes guys, that is where our RV trip ended. And my husband looked at me and goes, ‘I quit,’ and I’m like, ‘Me too.'”

If you want to hear the horror story straight from Mila’s mouth, here’s the full clip!

While the actual experience must have been awful, the story has everyone dying of laughter!

While the actual experience must have been awful, the story has everyone dying of laughter!

That would be quite a sight. Imagine pulling over to help a stranded family, and it ends up being Jackie and Kelso!

Speaking of, the That ’70s Show jokes have been coming in hot and heavy ever since Mila told the story.

(That’s a quote from the show, in case you’re not big on sitcom television from over a decade ago.)

There's a lot of love for Mila to be had.

There's a lot of love for Mila to be had.

Her ability to tell a story on camera has never been in question!

It’s almost unfair that someone can be that attractive AND that funny.

But once you get past the love fest, most everyone is making jokes about her characters from the years.

But once you get past the love fest, most everyone is making jokes about her characters from the years.

(This one’s from Family Guy, FYI, where she plays the occasionally annoying daughter.)

It’s fun that Mila and Ashton’s actual honeymoon played out like an episode of their famous television show. We’re glad everyone is safe — and that Mila was kind enough to share the story!