Reddit is a great place for the best of times and the worst of times, and sometimes the site just delivers in a way that you didn’t know you needed.
A current thread poses the query: “Married people of Reddit, what’s one thing you didn’t learn about your spouse until after your wedding day?”
As you might expect, the answers are wild and all over the place. From totally innocent reveals to absolutely horrific truths, married people on Reddit have apparently been put through the wringer. Example:
“In the first 6 months after the wedding we’ve found out he had lied about:
- His previous job. He wasn’t a history professor apparently.
- His house back at his country and the fact that it was damaged by a hurricane. He didn’t even own a house.
- His previous marriage, unfaithful ex-wife and him having kids. He was married but only for a couple of years and those kids were not his. She kicked him out.
- His mom being dead (a really WTF moment for us and her).
- His other relatives like cousins, etc. treating him badly. We couldn’t figure out why nobody in his family wanted to help or even come for a wedding. Turns out he’s a pathological liar hated by everyone.”
With 10K comments and counting (at the time of writing, that is), the thread is sure to continue well into the foreseeable future. Here are 10 more pretty fascinating reveals that I loved:
As they do, the comments begin innocently enough. For example, CiderDrinker discovered that their wife is basically a mermaid: “She’s a great swimmer. One day, after we’d be married for about seven years, we joined a gym with a swimming pool. She challenged me to a race. Ok, I thought, I’m a pretty good swimmer. I was surprised when she offered me a half-length head start – and then doubly surprised when despite my massive head start she beat me easily. Apparently she used to be a competition swimmer at school. She’s basically half-dolphin. But she’d never happened to mention it before.”
But also, as these threads typically do, things escalated quickly. AdmThrace said that their mom was in for a pretty nasty surprise: “My mom found out my dad was a compulsive liar when his twin sister didn’t show up to their wedding. When questioned about it he said she must have imagined the dozens of stories he had told about his twin sister. He is an only child.”
And I guess lying about pretend siblings is … a thing? “We were never married but my ex did this too. Our whole relationship he had me and my family convinced he had an older brother that died. He would get upset every year on his birthday, had special items that were his…I only found out through another family member of his YEARS after breaking up that he had no older brother. He never did.”
Nyx_Shadowspawn shared: “He has aphantasia. It’s a neurological condition where you can’t recall memories as pictures or create images in your mind. He cannot and has never been able to picture what he is reading in a book or say, conjure an image of a forest or person in his mind. He can’t imagine my face when I’m not there, though its not like he forgets it. I’m the total opposite and always picture everything in my mind- I’m an artist and my job would be hard if I couldn’t- so to me its like in a way he’s blind. Its just a different way of experiencing life I guess, but I was really sad for him when I found out.”
People of the world? We need to work on our time-telling skills: “My wife cannot read an analog watch / clock for time. Married 4 years, been together 7 years total, and somehow that came up only a month ago when I asked for the time off a watch during a power outage.
“I don’t give her a hard time about it, but that was a fun fact to learn.”
In news that my husband can likely also relate to, nifederico shared that their wife is bananas for the holidays. “Just how much she REALLY loves Christmas. We lived together before we were married, and it wasn’t that bad. But the moment we said ‘I Do’…It changed. Now, she starts the Christmas train in [expletive] October. I’m talking the tree, garland and [expletive] Michael Buble. When I asked her about this, she said ‘Oh, we’re married now. So you have to like this too.’ Purely joking but [expletive].”
Of course, there are PLENTY of money surprises on the thread. What’s a little sharing between spouses? Or not: “I’m happily divorced now (almost 12 years now that I do the math), but after we got married I learned that she viewed her money as her money and my money as our money. Which was interesting because before we got married my money was our money and she didn’t have money to speak of. Not that I was even making good money. But after we got married she got a well paying job and suddenly her money was hers and mine wasn’t mine. It didn’t last long after that.”
I think this share from BustAMove_13 is pretty… common: “He’s a slob. Apparently, while we were dating he was on his best behavior, but after? Dear god. Clothes everywhere. Hats everywhere. Paper everywhere. He throws dirty clothes next to the hamper. My biggest beef is how he’ll just set dirty dishes on the island rather than walk an extra five steps to put them in the sink.
“Also, he loses everything. He’s lost so many sunglasses that I had to put my foot down and tell him he can’t buy any more. At $200 a pop it ain’t happening. He loses his wallet regularly and he had his apple watch for maybe three months. Once, he lost $300 between work and home. He swears he had it in the car and didn’t stop anywhere on the way home. So where it went nobody knows. If I had the money that we’ve spent on [expletive] he’s lost in the last 20 years, I could pay cash for a brand new car.”
But this from Conan-doodle genuinely surprised me. Savage, indeed: “She leaves a few seconds on the microwave. There’s only so many times a guy can ask her to press the clear button. It’s even the same as the stop button .. Just press it twice!! I wouldn’t be surprised if she tortured animals as child. She’s a savage.”
As a big fan of books of all ages, I find this contribution from InstitutionalizedRum to be TRULY horrific: “My husband doesn’t like the smell of old books. I grew up loving old libraries and old books. He can’t stand them. It was a gradual realization not a dramatic reveal.
“Also, and much bigger is that he has no conflict resolution skills. 20 years of marriage and we’ve never actually resolved an argument. We just wait until I quit being mad long enough to have lots of sex and we’re good until the next argument. The times we’ve tried to work through things always made it worse. At least we still have great sex.”