Quick question: Is Macaulay Culkin OK?
Macaulay Culkin recently held a poll, asking fans to help him pick a new middle name. Based on the results of that poll, he is now planning to change his middle name to “Macaulay Culkin.” Yes, you read that correctly. His middle name will now be his full name.
The man already has a full name that feels like it needs to be said all together every time — is it just me, or is it impossible to call him just “Macaulay”? So when this name change goes through, we will be forced to call him (*deep breath*) Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. EVERY TIME.
For the record, the other potential new middle names were equally ridiculous. Fans chose from “Shark Week,” “Kieran,” “TheMcRibIsBack,” “Publicity Stunt,” and “Macaulay Culkin.” Given those options, it’s not surprising that the last one won.
“It has a nice ring to it,” Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin wrote on Twitter.
I need some water.
It’s been a strange year (fried chicken firewood, anyone?), and 2019 is already starting off on a strange note.
For example, starting in 2019, Macaulay Culkin will legally change his middle name to his full name.
To be clear, his new middle name will be “Macaulay Culkin,” making his new full name “Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin.”
The actor recently announced the news on Twitter.
This is, apparently, what happens when you put your fate in the hands of your fans. But it’s also what happens when you’re as quirky as Macaulay Culkin.
I mean, the guy posts content like this on his Instagram.
But to spell out the question on everyone’s mind: WHY? Why… do… any of this?
It’s not like anyone even knows what Macaulay Culkin’s current middle name is. (It’s Carson.)
Well, at one point or another, he got tired of being Macaulay Carson Culkin.
So he made it into a game.
“My middle name is something dumb. Larry? Orange? Honestly, I can’t even remember it. So I asked you all to send in some better options so I can go down to the courthouse and explain to a judge why I need to change my middle name to something cool,” he wrote on BunnyEars.
After combing through fans’ suggestions, Macaulay Culkin chose his favorite five. Then he opened the polls for fans to vote on their favorite among the five.
“Macaulay Culkin” won by a landslide with 60,990 votes. The poll closed on Christmas Eve, because “all I want for Christmas is a new middle name,” as the actor wrote.
And now he has one.
I predict that Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin will be a brand-new sort of dude! This is giving me all sorts of “new year, new me” vibes.
Some fans — perhaps some of the 60,990 who were in favor of this mess — are very excited about Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin.
And others are disappointed that other middle names didn’t get chosen.
I, for one, would not be able to handle a world in which a Macaulay Camaulay Mulkin Culkin exists. Do you know how long that took to type just now? I’m suddenly 80.
I’m also speechless, which is fine because Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin is a sentence of its own.
Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. MACAULAY MACAULAY CULKIN CULKIN. Alrighty then.