mom

Mom’s Post Perfectly Captures How The World ‘Forgets’ Mothers After They Give Birth

by Kim Wong-Shing
Kim Wong-Shing is a staff writer at LittleThings. Her work spans beauty, wellness, pop culture, identity, food, and other topics. She is a contributing writer at NaturallyCurly, and her work has also appeared in HelloGiggles, Lifehacker, Wear Your Voice Magazine, and other outlets. She grew up in Philadelphia, attended Brown University, and is now based in New Orleans.

Few moments in life compare to giving birth to a child. Those early days of motherhood are tough, and no mom can do it alone — nor should she have to. But with so much attention on the new baby, there’s often not much left over for the new mom.

Anneliese Lawton, a writer and mom of two in Canada, perfectly captured the struggle in a recent Facebook post on her page, Grown Up Glamour.

In the post, Anneliese recalls how, after giving birth to each of her two sons, she went to a flurry of “appointments” to make sure they were doing OK.

“Their well-being was front and center,” Anneliese wrote. “I’d say, when it comes to our health-care system, they were well taken care of.”

“Then there was me,” she continued.

Anneliese recalled how her doctors gave her painkillers, stool softeners, and a pat on the back, then sent her on her way. Meanwhile, she struggled to adjust to the many difficulties of new motherhood, from breastfeeding to postpartum depression.

Anneliese’s words deeply resonated with other moms. The emotional post now has over 31,000 shares.

As a writer and mom of two boys, Anneliese uses her Facebook page Grown Up Glamour to give voice to the difficult, often invisible reality of motherhood.

Anneliese gave birth to her second son in January, Babble reports.

After both of her boys’ births, she was pleased with how well the Canadian health care system took care of her babies. But her own well-being as a new mom? Not so much.

Anneliese penned a thoughtful post about the issue last week.

“After my boys were born, there were appointments,” the post begins.

“Then there was me. A first-time mom without a clue,” the post continues. “Engorged, bleeding, and stitched up. Sent home with some painkillers and stool softeners. Thrown into motherhood with the expectation my instincts would kick in.”

Like many new moms, Anneliese was struggling to adjust to it all: the breastfeeding, the colic, the late nights, and her new postpartum body — not to mention those stitches.

She also dealt with postpartum depression, an issue that’s more common than many people think.

But her struggles didn’t seem to be a priority to anyone else.

“No one checked my stitches, my healing, or my sanity until eight weeks postpartum. And even then, it was a pat on the back and I was sent on my way,” she wrote.

“Our world forgets about mothers. We slip through the cracks. We become background noise. And in that, we learn our role… our place in our family unit… to always come last.”

But it shouldn’t be that way, Anneliese argued.

“Folks, we can’t put mothers last,” she urged readers.

“Mothers deserve attention. We need our world to fuss over us the way they fuss over ten fresh fingers and ten fresh toes. We need to be seen. We need to be heard. We need someone to not only ask if we’re okay but to check time and time again, just to be sure.”

Anneliese’s post struck a chord with many other women, who shared similar stories in the comments.

Practically every mom knows exactly what Anneliese is talking about, from brand-new moms…

To veteran mamas.

One thing is certain: Motherhood is hard, no matter what your situation is.

Other commenters pointed out how we can begin to remedy this problem.

One woman, for example, makes sure to show up for the new moms in her own life.

Another said she works as a doula to support new and expecting moms.

Anneliese told Babble that she’s been blown over by the massive response to her post. She was inspired to write it after she had surgery to remove a benign mixed tumor, for which she received a ton more aftercare than she ever received after giving birth.

“I’m going to scream it from the rooftops, because if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone,” Anneliese said.

“And we can’t be left to fend for ourselves due to lack of resources. Mothers deserve more.”