Despite the fact that we all know parenting is a stressful and personal process, many people are critical of the decisions of others.
That’s abundantly clear when it comes to celebrities. Celebrity parents are often picked apart by the public for every little thing they do. While many argue that it’s part of what celebs sign up for, the criticism is still pretty unfair. Any of us can be slammed for making some less-than-stellar decisions that might make more sense with context. John Legend recently pointed out another unfair aspect of the “mommy shaming” culture. Women are always catching the blame.
Chrissy Teigen is constantly criticized for what she does and does not do with her children. However, Chrissy isn’t a single parent. She’s making the decisions for her children with John. Still, John isn’t the one who is slammed when someone doesn’t agree with what they see or read. Now John is speaking out regarding his thoughts about how his role in parenting is perceived.
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are serious relationship goals. The two present a united front no matter what comes at them.
The couple has been blessed with a beautiful family. They are parents to 3-year-old Luna and 1-year-old Miles.
As a mom in the spotlight, Chrissy gets quite a bit of criticism. In fact, the criticism of Chrissy began when people learned that she and John used IVF to conceive.
John Legend recently had a chat with Romper about how society continues to promote unequal parenting. He used examples from his and Chrissy’s own experience.
John referenced their first date night as parents as the earliest example. Chrissy was attacked by many who felt it was too soon for her to be leaving her baby with other people.
“People were shaming Chrissy for leaving the house, and didn’t say anything bad to me,” John pointed out. Indeed, none of the comments were being directed at John despite his equal participation.
“Look, we’re both parents and we’re both going out. If you think that’s not appropriate — and first of all, you shouldn’t think that’s not appropriate — if you’re going to blame somebody, blame both of us, not just the mother,” he explained.
That’s just one area where they’ve noticed unequal expectation of parents. Another is when it comes to changing diapers. John said, “It’s kind of assumed dads won’t change diapers, so facilities are built in a way that bakes that assumption in. And [that] then perpetuates the fact that dads won’t change diapers because they don’t even have a place to do it.”
John has teamed up with Pampers and Koala Kare to put 5,000 changing tables in men’s public restrooms across the country by 2021. “We’re excited to provide a physical manifestation that daddies can be part of the change, and daddy diaper duty is a real thing, and it’s really going to happen, and there’s a place for that to happen,” he explains.
John hopes that one day, people will recognize that he and Chrissy are a team in their parenting decisions. He thinks speaking out about the inequalities where they exist and working toward fixing them will change the conversation.
“There are all these gender norms that are baked into how people are having these conversations and the critiques people are leveling at her and not at me,” he says. “I just wish people would think more about that and what that means.”
John points out that supporting one another in parenting is just an extension of supporting one another in a relationship. “It’s making it so the onus is always falling on the female partner and not the male partner, and we need to help each other and take care of each other and support each other in our relationships and in our parenting,” he explains.
Chrissy is, of course, aware of the unfairness of what she deals with. She has no problem poking fun at the issue in her own way.
It will be interesting to see if the “parenting police” will start being equally critical of both John and Chrissy. Whether or not they do, you should expect them to clap back together, like the team they are.