12 Times Dads Begged Their Kids, ‘Please, Don’t Tell Mom’

by Grace Eire
Grace plays in a band and is the mother to a black cat named Fitzhugh.

Being a parent, there are times where you have to make compromises, split-second decisions, and sometimes even go against the rules you set yourself. Often, it won’t be a black-and-white situation.

Sometimes, you want to play the good cop in the good cop, bad cop scenario, but you don’t want your spouse to find out about your little secret. So, you ask the sweet little angel, “Don’t tell Mom/Dad.”

This can be a great way to bond with your kid, as having a little secret makes them (and you!) feel like you’re sharing something special between just the two of you. It can also, unfortunately, backfire if your little one decides to tattle!

These 12 folks remember times that either their parents told them not to tell the other, or that they themselves asked their kid to keep a secret. Some are silly, some are downright scary, and others are just plain bizarre.

Do you remember a time that you found yourself on any side of this situation?

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[H/T: Reddit]



I brought my sons, 5 and 10, to Circus Circus in Las Vegas for a weekend. I lost the younger one for a full 5 minutes at one point. Scariest 5 minutes of my life, and Mom never heard about it. – Scrappy_Larue



At 16 my parents helped me get a car; the keys to freedom were: Per Dad, no tickets, pay my own gas and maintenance and Per Mom, home by curfew. After a few close calls/negotiating a few extra minutes with upset Mom, Dad recommends I call him if I’m cutting it close. Really…?

From then on, I’d call Dad, he’d tell Mom that he would wait up, aka fall asleep in his chair. This was a 2 birds one stone deal. He got parenting cred from Mom (go on to bed, honey) and a good night’s nap in his chair until I drifted home. – Aimlesskeek



My oldest caught me being the tooth fairy. She agreed that telling Mom or her brother might ruin it for them more. She still gets her silver dollar if she loses a tooth, I just don’t have to be such a ninja to give it to her. – londongarbageman



You know those noise maker gunpowder bangy things? Explaining to my daughter that you can put them in your hand and head butt them to make them explode. We went through an entire packet of them that day. – white_butterfly1


ice cream

One night I was enjoying a small bit of ice cream after my four-year-old daughter went to bed. She came downstairs and ‘caught’ me. So I offered her a small bite, but since she was supposed to be in bed, I said “don’t tell Mom.” She assured me she wouldn’t. My wife wouldn’t have cared anyway but it was a fun little game to play.

After she went up to bed and I was down on the couch, she snuck in to the master bedroom where mom was resting. She told mom that I had let her have some ice cream, and she was afraid of “sugar bugs” so could she please brush her teeth again. – optimaloutcome



Went fishing in questionable conditions. Left the harbor in 6-8 foot waves in a 19′ boat. Probably shouldn’t have gone out at all in retrospect. Going home in 10-12′ waves, with big ones hitting 14′. Struggling to even make it through them.

All this is happening in late November in the north Atlantic. Bad news if anything goes wrong. No one else is out there to help us.

My dad tells me at one point “Take your life jacket off. It won’t help out here, it will just make the inevitable take longer. We make it home or we don’t. I love you.”

To this day, that’s the only time I have been scared on a boat, and I have been in some serious situations.

When we made it back he said “never tell your mom what I told you. That is between you and I.” –__slamallama__



When I was ten years old my dad came to my school before noon and told the principal that I had a doctors appointment. I had no idea he was coming at all, and seeing him in my class was a bit of a shock. He then told my teacher I have to go to the doctors, and I was believing that I was actually going to the doctors.

We ended up going to a baseball game for the whole afternoon. My mom was out of town for a couple of days and my dad told me to never tell her that he got me to play hookey from school. – imransalem



For literally a year, my mom was under the impression that elementary classes ended at 5 instead of 3. Each day, my dad would pick me up from school at 3, which is at the water’s edge, and take me two miles down to cross the river and play at a MASSIVE park for 2 hours. – AizenShisuke


blue face

I tell my wife everything, we have no secrets. So when I tell my 3 kids to not tell mom something, she usually already knows or will shortly. I took the kids to the park one day and it was getting close to dinner. I bought them all ice cream anyway and told them they better eat all their dinner and not to tell mom we had ice cream so close to dinner. I told my wife when I got home in secret. She ask our middle daughter, 8 at the time, why it looks like she has coloring or ice cream around her mouth.

Without skipping a beat my daughter pipes up, “Well I was riding my bike around the park, and someone stepped out in front of me, so I went around them, but I crashed and landed in the grass, but someone had spilled a slurpee there, and I landed in it, and it got on my face!” My wife had to stifle her laughs and feign concern over the nonexistent crash. My daughter said she was ok but her leg and hand hurt and she’d wash up before dinner. – RideAndShoot



Happened just last week. We do “dates” with our kids about once a month, just for one-on-one time with each of them. I told my wife my son (he’s 6) and I were going out for dinner and ice cream…

We saw Dr. Strange instead. No regrets. The boy has maintained the secret. – notTHATwriter



I’m at home, hanging out with my two year old daughter while mom is at work. I’m drinking a beer, and set it down for a second to go to the bathroom. My daughter is really smart for her age, and knows not to touch things that aren’t hers, but I guess leaving the beer just out of reach made it too tempting to her. She grabs her chair, puts it under the dresser I had set it on, and climbs up and grabs my beer.

I come back in the room just as she’s taking a big Ole swig. She hated the taste and spit it out instantly, but will never tell my wife about that one. To this day my daughter refers to my beer as “my icky.” – TooLazyToBeClever



We were camping in the Smokey Mountains in North Carolina. The previous camper had left behind a partial can of Coleman fuel. (purified unleaded gasoline). My son and I decided to give the campfire a head start. We didn’t know that the fire pit was still very hot. The fuel vaporized.

When we lit it, a river of flame majestically rolled towards our tent 20 feet away. We stood in stupefied horror as it died mere inches away from our accommodations. Simultaneously, we each said “Don’t tell Mom!”

My daughter said, “I want a pony!” – greylensman312

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