A Redditor found himself in some hot water after explaining a situation that left his wife and sister-in-law angry with him. The man explained that his wife is expecting their second child.
“My wife (34) and I (33) are having our second child. We have a daughter (5),” he wrote.
“She’s been grouchy her whole pregnancy so her sister offered to plan her a gender reveal party.”
I wouldn’t blame anyone for being grouchy during their summer pregnancy amidst a health crisis, but let’s move on.
“The plan was that all the food and decorations would be blue or pink and in the end we’d get one of those special sparklers that would light up in either blue or pink to reveal the gender,” he explained. That sounds like a nice way to pass a summer evening.
“We went to the doctor and got her to write the result in a folded piece of paper that we passed over to her sister without looking.”
It sounds like a sweet idea, in theory. Things played out a bit differently, though.
“So flash forward to the day of the party and the moment of truth comes and the sparkler turns out to be pink for a girl.”
That’s where things started going south.
“I don’t know what came over me but all I felt at that moment was very bitter disappointment,” dad revealed.
“To be honest, all I was hoping for baby #2 is to be able to toss a ball around with him and coach little league. Or watch him go on Boy Scouts camping trips.”
Girls can catch a ball and camp, too, but sure. Dad doesn’t stop there. He doubles down.
“I know my daughter is only five, but I’ve already started to deal with the dramas of being a father of a girl and the thought of having to double up now on the neuroticism was harrowing.”
Calling your 5-year-old neurotic is one thing. Showing that you mean it and it makes you wary of a child you haven’t even gotten to know yet is another.
“I grew up in a house with three older boys and one younger sister and I can’t imagine seeing myself be outnumbered,” the original poster (OP) attempted to explain.
At the gender reveal, he couldn’t get over his feelings. “My wife grabbed my arm as people were approaching us to say their congratulations and said I needed to look happier,” he said.
“At that moment I just snapped. I shook my head and walked out to my car (we came separately) and drove to my sister’s (21F) house.”
“I start getting texts from my sister in law and my wife saying ‘way to reenact’ their dad leaving their mom when they were 10 and 12,” he continued.
“I felt like that accusation was unfair and that I just needed some time alone. I didn’t ask to be flabbergasted- it just happened. And I don’t think it’s fair that they would have demanded I smile and nod for the next couple of hours.”
Dad concluded his post by asking if he was really in the wrong. Most people couldn’t believe he had to ask.
“No one is stopping you from tossing a ball with your daughter, or from camping with them, or encouraging them to participate in sports. You are the one stopping them from this,” one commenter noted of dad’s dreams of athletic grandeur.
“YTA and a ridiculous sexist. The ‘neuroticism’ you’re experiencing from your 5-year-old? Are you kidding? Get over yourself,” another wrote.
“As hard as your life is being a girl dad, being an actual girl is much harder. Mostly due to men like you. You’re afraid of being outnumbered? Maybe try learning to respect women and girls so you don’t have to be afraid of them.”
“You need therapy.”
“Congratulations on the expansion of your family!!!! Also, YTA,” another commenter added.
“If you weren’t prepared to be happy in front of a crowd in the case of either gender, you should have never allowed a gender reveal party to happen. Come on now. You know this.”
One commenter noted that even if he was upset, he still should have been a better support system for his pregnant wife.
“Hoping for a boy is one thing. Literally walking out on your wife for a gender reveal party is another,” the commenter noted.
“You were extremely unsupportive and if you’re that upset that you’re having another daughter, then you shouldn’t have had another child in the first place. Disgusting.”
As one person noted, so many people struggle to have children at all. They felt he was outraged over something so insignificant in the grand scheme of life.
“Some of us can’t even have our own children, no matter how desperately we may want to, and you sound like a sexist [expletive] over this,” the commenter wrote.
“At risk of being too critical of you, do girls not toss balls around? And do girls not play little league sports? As well as high school and college sports? You are already resenting your daughter, who isn’t even born yet, simply for being.”
“I really hope this is not indicative of how you normally view and treat your 5-year-old, because based on this little bit, she, and the one to come, certainly deserve worlds better.”