A bride-to-be headed to Reddit for advice out of fear she was being a bridezilla. She explained that she and her fiancé got engaged last year after six years of dating. They’d been discussing and saving for a wedding for a long time, so they scheduled things for late September 2020.
The couple is having a big celebration with over 200 guests. With the big day getting closer, the excitement has been real. The bride-to-be’s joy turned to anxiety after an unusual encounter with her brother’s new fiancée.
The original poster (OP) explained that when her brother’s fiancée reached out to talk about wedding planning, she thought she was looking for some advice.
“My future SIL (I’ll just say fSIL) reached out and asked if she could talk to me about wedding planning. Thinking she wanted help choosing colors or something, I agreed,” she noted.
Once they finally sat down, OP couldn’t believe what her future sister-in-law had to ask of her.
“She basically asked me if I could get married in the afternoon and she could get married an hour or two later and then we share the reception. She pitched the idea as a great way to become ‘sisters’ and that she knows how close my brother and I are and that ‘this would mean the world to him,'” she revealed.
While she pitched it in a very touching way, the bride-to-be felt she could see through what this was really about.
“In reality, I know that they aren’t financially well off and she wants the fancy wedding without the fancy wedding price tag,” she wrote.
“They’re both grad students and I assume that she’s a little jealous of the elaborate wedding that I have planned (I’ve been saving for this day for a long time),” she noted.
In the moment, she was shocked.
“I didn’t really know what to say, but managed to get out, ‘But that’s mine and [Fiancé’s] wedding. We planned it for us and want it to be about us,” she replied.
Her future sister-in-law didn’t take the reaction too well.
“She then exploded on me in anger and tears and said that I didn’t understand how hurtful it was to see the amazing wedding I’m planning and know that she couldn’t have something like that,” she said. This lined up with what the bride-to-be had initially suspected.
Future sister-in-law wasn’t done there. Now she was also upset.
“She called me a selfish [expletive] and heartless,” the bride-to-be recalled.
“I told her I waited to get married so that I could afford the wedding I wanted and she told me that she wants to get married before she’s ‘old and dried up like some people.’ Then I started crying and ran off to go home.”
When her brother called, she thought it would be an opportunity to clear things up.
“I got a call from my brother later. He stated that, while he was on board with sharing the wedding day, he’s upset with fSIL about how she approached it,” she explained.
“He asked me to please reconsider and that they would help pay for the extra guests (meaning her friends and family who I don’t know).”
The bride-to-be was understandably still upset by the situation. “I was still hurting from her comments and told him that I didn’t want to share my wedding day and I wasn’t even sure if I wanted fSIL there for my wedding day,” she wrote.
“My brother quickly said goodbye and hung up. I haven’t heard from him or fSIL in a few days.”
The bride-to-be asked Reddit if she was being selfish for not wanting to share her wedding day with her brother and his fiancée. It doesn’t seem like even one person disagreed with her. Most felt that it was an unreasonable ask on many levels.
“That’s YOUR day, and if you want to and are able to spend a load of money on it, then you go right ahead! FSIL doesn’t seem to understand living within her means, or the fact that you don’t NEED a huge wedding to be married,” one commenter wrote.
“My bff and her husband were so focused on the wedding that they really didn’t think about the marriage, and now they are not in a good marriage. My hubby and I had a simple wedding at my parents’ house for less than $1000 and are quite happy.”
Even a people pleaser had to agree that was too big of an ask, especially given the time frame.
“Normally I’m the kind of person who agonises over upsetting someone else. Even on occasions when I know I’m morally in the right, I just feel terrible at being the cause of someone else’s pain. But what shuts my guilt off like flipping a light switch is when the person who’s upset me starts acting like a child (unless it’s one of my actual children, in which case they get a pass),” another commenter wrote.
“She called you names, stomped her feet, and had the bloody audacity to imply you’re dried up at 28. Her request was completely unreasonable anyway, and you would have been NTA even if she’d smiled sweetly and thanked you for your time. But she really did you a favour, because she didn’t do that; she was a pissy, potty-mouthed witch about it, which means you don’t have to tolerate any form of pressure from any loved ones about this, frankly, massively inappropriate request.”
Many people noted that the resentment from this situation is bound to continue. Not only will OP have to decide whether or not she wants to have them at her wedding, but she may have to sit through theirs. Family drama is always messy, but this time truly takes the wedding cake.