FAMILY & PARENTING

This Dad Gave Unexpected Advice To His Gay Son In The 1950s

by Angel Chang
Angel is a writer on the Original Content team at LittleThings. Check out her articles about crucial tips on female and doggie health. She loves to take long walks, volunteer with kids, try new food, browse through burger recipes, and code in her spare time. Feel free to let her know what you'd like to see her write up next.

In 1973, Patrick Haggerty released the first-known gay country album in the nation: Lavender Country.

At the time, it sold only about 1,000 copies — but starting last year, it began to make an unexpected comeback.

With this resurgence, Patrick, now in his early 70s, has decided to reveal his relationship with his late father, who was a dairy farmer in rural Washington state during the 1950s.

Very early on, Patrick’s father knew that his young son was gay. But instead of treating his son cruelly, this loving father decided to reassure his son in the most amazing, tender way — and in the end, imparted some inspiring advice that has lasted a lifetime. Without tormenting him, his father had an earnest, honest conversation with his son about his identity.

In interviews with StoryCorps and NPR, Patrick retells the powerful story to his daughter, Robin. His tale is sure to stay with you for years to come.

Scroll further to read this incredible story and watch the video at the end. Let us know what you think in the comments below!

Father's advice to gay son in the 1950s

In the 1950s in rural Washington, a teenage boy learned an important lesson about self-acceptance. Patrick Haggerty, now in his 70s, didn’t know he was gay at the time, but says his father knew what direction he was headed.

Father's advice to gay son in the 1950s

The conversation started because as a teenager Haggerty decided to perform in a school assembly. On their way there, he started covering his face with glitter — to his brother’s horror. Haggerty says his brother dropped him off at school and then called their father.

“Dad, I think you better get up there,” his brother said. “This is not going to look good.”

Father's advice to gay son in the 1950s

Their father did come. Charles Edward Haggerty, a dairy farmer, showed up at the school in dirty farming jeans and boots. When Haggerty saw his dad in the halls, he hid.

“It wasn’t because of what I was wearing,” Haggerty says. “It was because of what he was wearing.”

Father's advice to gay son in the 1950s

After the assembly, in the car ride home, Haggerty’s father called him out on his attempt to hide.

“My father says to me, ‘I was walking down the hall this morning, and I saw a kid that looked a lot like you ducking around the hall to avoid his dad. But I know it wasn’t you, ’cause you would never do that to your dad,’ ” Haggerty recalls.

Father's advice to gay son in the 1950s

Haggerty squirmed in his seat and finally exclaimed, “Well, Dad, did you have to wear your cow-crap jeans to my assembly?”

“Look, everybody knows I’m a dairy farmer,” his father replied. “This is who I am. Now, how ’bout you? When you’re an adult, who are you gonna go out with at night?”

Father's advice to gay son in the 1950s

Then, he gave his son some advice:

“Now, I’m gonna tell you something today, and you might not know what to think of it now, but you’re gonna remember when you’re a full-grown man: Don’t sneak. Because if you sneak, like you did today, it means you think you’re doing the wrong thing. And if you run around spending your whole life thinking that you’re doing the wrong thing, then you’ll ruin your immortal soul.”

“And out of all the things a father in 1959 could have told his gay son, my father tells me to be proud of myself and not sneak,” Haggerty says.

“He knew where I was headed. And he knew that making me feel bad about it in any way was the wrong thing to do,” he adds. “I had the patron saint of dads for sissies, and no, I didn’t know at the time, but I know it now.”

To hear Haggerty's telling of the story in his own words, watch StoryCorps' lovely video below.

What do you think of the advice this father gave his young son? Let us know below!

Please SHARE if this father’s advice warmed your heart!